Unenjoyable Introductions
by Aikei-chan
Summary: Crossover Drabble [DeidaraMegara] A challenge from a kiss!meme I had to do.  Megara is Deidara's guide, and hes not quite sure she's really a work of art.


Title: Unenjoyable Introductions

Warnings: er...crack? And misconduct involving Deidara's mouth hands.

Rating: PG

Pair: Deidara [Naruto / Megara [Hercules

Notes: Ok. Let me explain this oddity here. On my Livejournal, I did a meme that basically had me list 20 characters and my friends had to pick two at random without looking and I had to write them kissing. My Hidan picked Megara and Deidara.

Enjoy.

**+Unenjoyable Introductions+**

Megara had gotten used to quiet. She didn't have any friends, not anymore. The only people who ever spoke to her weren't even people, and she'd rather they just left her alone. It had gone on for so long that now she rather liked the silence, as any sound was a sign of sadness or anger to come. Somewhere deep inside, far enough that she had pushed it out of her mind almost completely, she wished for the noise she would soon come in contact with, as if it was some symbol that she was not as dreadfully alone as she actually was.

Though, in all honesty, she would much prefer that the sound didn't start with a rather large bang.

The smoke that had followed the unexpectedly close blast filled Megara's lungs and she was still coughing when it cleared, her back pressed against the nearest tree for balance. An amused chuckle caused her to open her eyes, and the grin of the young man in front of her made her immediately wish that she hadn't. He was dressed all too oddly, as she had never seen anyone with that sort of netting as clothing, much less a coat such as the one that was open and resting on his shoulders. The hair covering one eye and the strange device she could see under it only served to remind her of the multiple one eyed beings she had had to deal with, and that didn't help her opinion of him one bit.

"Oh great, not another one---"

"Liked that bang, huh?"

Both had spoken simultaneously, and as if time had overlapped instantly, there was a pause that followed. Another chuckle escaped past the blond man's lips and he slipped off of the head of the large, unnatural looking bird he was sitting on.

"You're Megara, right? Your boss said you were like my art, but I don't know, un."

Rolling her eyes as his sole one raked her body, Megara crossed her arms over her chest.

"Look, I don't know who you are or what you want with me, but I'm not interested." She sighed exasperatedly, turning on the balls of her feet to walk in the other direction, only to be stopped by the blond. He had moved fast—very fast—and she couldn't help but jump when he was so quickly in front of her with his hand resting on the bark of the tree.

"The names Deidara, and you're Megara. That mean's _you've _gotta do what _I _say, un."

Narrowing her eyes, she leaned forward as if to say with just her body language that she was not as intimidated by him as she actually was. If she couldn't catch his movements, she didn't know _what _he could do.

"I don't have to do what anyone says unless _he _tells me do, so when you get proof that he sent you, _Deidara, _come find me." His name was foreign and seemed to stick to her teeth. It was difficult to pronounce, and only came out as a bastardization of Deidrah. She had lifted his arm so she could slip under, but it came down again quickly, stopping her in her tracks for the second time.

"I _have _proof, un." Moving the arm that had been on the tree down to a pouch that until now had been hidden by the coat, Deidara removed a black scroll, prying it open with one hand with an odd amount of ease and letting one side drop until the contents were visible. The thin script was unmistakable, as it was not solid on the paper and seemed to flow like mercury, standing out from the parchment despite the darkness of it all. Megara's lips thinned as she saw this, her eyes then moving from the parchment to Deidara's.

"And what, exactly, am I supposed to do?"

Grinning once again, Deidara took a step backwards, flipping his hair. "Well, my boss and your boss've got some weird sort of arrangement going on, un, and I was just sent to do something and you're supposed to be my guide." He spoke animatedly with his hands, and the motions were so quick she could barely make out odd horizontal lines that marred them. Scars?

With one large step he was close again, his finger tapping her nose.

"Comprendez?"

Unconsciously, her nose scrunched up as soon as his finger had left it, and she nodded. She was looking off to the side now, not wanting to stare into the face that was all too close to hers, and instead took to inspecting his large animal. Her distant examination was cut short, however, by his fingers, with nails painted black, tilting her chin back to face him.

"Yanno, maybe your boss was right, un. You could be _beautiful _art, in with fury and out with a bang."

Before Megara knew what was happening, Deidara's hand covered her mouth. She moved to pull his arm away, but froze when she felt an odd, unnatural movement. Something was opening, and a wetness that wasn't there before was now up against her lips. All her muscles tensed when something slimy forced its way past her lips and teeth, feeling around inside like a tongue. Her eyes widened and she wanted to scream. What was going on? Who was this guy? What was that _thing _in her mouth!? Almost immediately, her teeth closed down on whatever it was, and Deidara winced, the slick muscle recoiling back as he quickly pulled his arm away. She could see what had intruded now, and she stepped away from the blond who was currently rubbing the mouth on his hand and whimpering ever so slightly. Her breath was coming out ragged and she tried to calm it, but she had never been violated by those Hades sent to her in quite the way she had been now.

"Bitch, Why'd you have to do that!? My poor hand, un!" He was whining now, and the proud, intimidating figure was gone. Instead he was tending to his injured appendage, and the sight became more and more comical as her heart rate slowed.

Bringing her hand to her lips, Megara turned her head to stare at the large chaotic mess behind her that had just moments before been the victim of a rather violent explosion. She could see the bare ground and the toppled, charred trees, and could only hope that she would not share the same fate.


End file.
